Why I Don't Help People Anymore


I used to try to help people.

I thought that I could play a part in their lives. That, even if they didn’t want to change, I could help them.

It’s admirable to look for the best in people… I actually encourage it. It’s important to be aware, though.

You sometimes get to a point where your efforts are being put-forth in vein. What do you do when the people you are trying to help, don’t want to change? What if they are your friends or family?

I’ve come to this crossroad many times. That glimmering light of hope has kept me going before.

“They’re not a bad person, they just…”

Forget that.

No matter who it is – no matter what they mean to you; You should not continue to try to help them if they never put forth the effort to change themselves.

I’ve personally wasted a ton of time trying to help “good people”. My mother does the same thing, bless her.

Being someone who co-founded an organization trying to give people the tools to turn their lives around… Despite how much I used to try to help people… I realized something recently:

You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do.

“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.” – Andy Warhol

I’m not saying you need to abandon the people you love. I’m just saying you need to stop investing time into building someone up who doesn’t actually want your help. Instead, I implore you to follow this advice.

Lead By Example.

If you want others to do better – YOU have to do better. Becoming a person who leads by example is the best way to make a positive impact on people’s lives.

1) You inspire people who see you taking action.
2) The people who aspire to be like you will seek YOU out for advice.

I make a point to lend a hand to those around me who I see are putting in the effort to build themselves up. Some people also reach out to me for advice. The people who don’t? Well… I keep grinding myself.

It’s a sad fact of life. Some people are just going to get left behind. There’s nothing you can do to change how someone thinks or acts.

All you can do is become the strongest version of yourself possible. Those who truly want to make the most of their lives will follow suit eventually. Remember…

“We can’t change the world, unless we change ourselves.” – Christoper “Biggie” Wallace

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