Parenting post-6 0: is a newborn what Lionel Richie is genuinely looking for?

The Hello singer wants to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet. Again. At 67.

Let us turn our attention to Lionel Richie, who has announced plans to have another child at 67. Im willing to become a father again, he told the Mirror, employing the type of speech that calls non-negotiable, perhaps legally binding dealbreaker. Its good news all round as he joins Ronnie Wood, who became a father to twin girls at age 69.

Lost in Showbiz is a bit cautious about late-in-life fatherhood. Not just the physical stuff( to paraphrase the line in When Harry Met Sally: Charlie Chaplin had children at 73. Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up ). Or the double standards when a woman does it; consider the relative abhorrence and outrage when Janet Jackson announced she was having a baby at 50. No, its more the way the fundamentals of childrearing have changed since the boomers did it, locking infants in vehicles, pushing them to write to Jimmy Savile and feeding them Vimto in nursing bottles. Periods have definitely changed, but here are two key points to bear in mind( Lionel, feel free to cut out and keep this bit ):

1) Teletubbies have their own newborns now. I know. Its bizarre and unclear how this happened, as they appear to have stayed exactly the same age as before. Were pretty sure this attains, like, total sense if youre under 25.

2) baby names have gone off the silly chart. Ronnie called his twins Gracie and Alice. BORING. Alanis Morissette hit the jackpot, naming her daughter Onyx Solace, possibly after a new hair removal therapy.

Basically, baby boomers, you need to up your baby game.

Lost in Showbiz, whose hearts desire as a mother is to just sit here and do nothing and talk to no one for a minute, worries about how Richie and co will cope with this Brave New baby World. So much so that we will withstand the compulsion to make a gag along the lines of: By the time Richie Jr is out of nappies, Richie Sr could be need some, or Time to do a Huggies bulk-buy.

Well done us.

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