Introducing The Only FD-AApproved Penis Implant

A Beverly Hills urologist has invented an FD-Aapproved penis implant.[ Insert witty joke here .]

It sounds like a shady pop-up ad, but the penis enlarger is legit. Dr. James Elist’s Penuma, which comes in sizings L, XL and XXL, is a silicone sleeve that’s inserted under the skin of a man’s penis to make it longer and thicker.

Men have desired larger penises likely since Adam compared his to the evil serpent who convinced Eve to take a bite of forbidden fruit( a metaphor you’ve never believed to be up to now, right ?). And now they can have it, as long as they’re willing to shell out $13,000 and forgo sex for six weeks.

As GQ reports in a lengthy investigation of the surgery and its discoverer, Elist is the only doctor permitted by the FDA to perform the Penuma procedure. The doctor has inserted approximately 1,300 penile implants, the publication reports, and a clinical study commissioned by Elist demonstrates a success rate of over 95 percent among men who agreed to participate in such studies.

Previous penis enlargement options have included injecting collagen or corpse cells, while some practitioners cut a ligament in the groin so the penis hangs lower, making it seem longer. Both of these practices have caused problems such as a lumpy appearance or complications with erectings, GQ reports.

WARNING: Graphic image below.

Here’s a visual that shows how the surgery works 😛 TAGEND

While having a monopoly on the only safe silicone penis expansion is pretty darn lucrative on its own, Elist is currently pushing for the FDA to approve his product for sale so that other professionals can perform the procedure.

Things to know about Penuma and the procedure 😛 TAGEND The penis implant costs about $13,000. Penuma grows the penis by an average 2 to 2.5 inches of duration and circumference, Elist tells. While the procedure generally takes a mere 60 minutes, patients are instructed to relinquish sex for six weeks. Patients may receive general anesthesia prior to the operation. The implant has an infection rate close to 3 percent, according to Elist’s website. Penises must be circumcised. Dr. Elist will perform a circumcision for eligible candidates. More than two-thirds of patients report an increase in self-confidence after surgery, according to Elist’s clinical report. Men are typically more concerned over penis size than women. The average flaccid penis is 3. 6 inches in duration. The average erect penis is 5 inches in duration. According to a 2014 report, 84 percent of women are satisfied with their partner’s penis size.

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