As early as July, the internet wondered if 2016 would go down in history as the worst year ever. Four months ago, we were communally freaking out over Zika, Brexit, and record-hot temperatures. These days, death-bearing mosquitos are the least of our frets. To induce matters worse, 2016 will be one second longer than previously expectedjust enough time for the future leader of the free world to publish another Hamilton-hating tweet, or for an alt-righter( translation: neo-Nazi) to set the finishing touch on a spray-painted swastika.
Despite the wealth of memes that would argue otherwise, 2016 isnt technically the worst. Humanity have in fact been subjected to more painful experiences than listening to Donald Trump attempt to pronounce hombre. For instance, in 1348 the Black Death took hold. Over the course of a brisk 18 months, it killed at least a third of the population of Europe. That, one might argue, was a really bad year.
In comparison, 2016 is more absurd than it is catastrophicso far. After all, this is the year that a human named Weiner sabotaged a presidential campaign with his penis. For a year that is undoubtedly doing too much, 2016 demands a proportionally extra first family. Enter the Kardashians, the only reality Tv clan ridiculous enough to make sense in this new reality. For the past couple of years, Americas favorite Armenians have been heavily relying on their deep bench of sisters and friend. But at the end of the day, only Kim Kardashian is famous enough, entertaining enough, and disaster-prone enough to truly represent 2016. Kylie Jenner might have her booming makeup business, and Kendall Jenner will always be the mainstream face of sleep paralysis, but Kim Kardashian had the worst/ most absurd year ever.
In an homage to the return of Gilmore Girls, which 2016 miraculously managed to not fuck up, weve charted four seasons in the life of Kimberly Kardashian West, each more tragic than the last.
There are pros and cons to marrying Kanye West. On the one hand, he can keep you outfitted in a lifetimes worth of beige condom dresses and Yeezys. He can also introduce you to Beyonc and Jay Z, although he cant induce them like you. On the other hand, his ex-girlfriend Amber Rose might take to Twitter one day to inform the entire world that your husband is still stuck in the anal stage. In late January, the SlutWalk organizer and emoji entrepreneur clapped back at some disrespectful remarks Kanye had made about her by deeming him a fingers in the booty ass bitch.